Exhausted

Living with something that causes you discomfort and exhaustion is not easy. This is not something I think about all the time. We do not think about our pain. For me personally, I try to distract myself. Listening to music is my escape from it all. Talking to the people I love helps to a certain extent. I hold in how I am feeling often because often times I have heard stop thinking about it. I can be laying in my room watching a movie and bam it hits me like a speeding bus. What am I supposed to do? What do you want me to do? That is not something that can be easily ignored.

Often times I feel like I am not being heard but judged. Mentally I feel misunderstood. My mental state is not going to be the same as when I am having a decent day. Hurting and dealing with something that I am taking medicine for with no results is not fun. Does it actually seem like I want to deal with this mess? Please do not come at me with the “It is people out there dealing with worse than you” okay duh I know that but that does not discredit my issues!

Mentally I am tired. There have been many times I wanted to say forget it all. I wanted to give up and just be done. School was hard to deal with. Especially when I had someone tearing me down every chance she got. How was that helpful? A study was done on how endometriosis changes the brain. Anxiety and depression are both common symptoms because of it. These aren’t things we make up. This is real life. People with mental and physical illnesses often go misunderstood because they are seen to be overreacting.

Telling someone to “pray about it” or “it will get better with time” when he/she has an illness that only has band-aids at the moment is only going to help so much. I am sorry if that offended anyone but it is true. I often pray for myself. How about donating to endo foundations or doing research? Do not just go based off of what we tell you. We do not know everything. We are still learning too.

Please understand mentally I am not always there. I am not always going to smile and go with the flow. That is no longer me. I am so sick and tired of having to be silent about something I cannot even control. I am not had anything but seafood for a while now and I have had more flare-ups than ever. I might as well start back eating chicken it seems. I eat my fruit and veggies I do right. Things like that can affect the way I see things. Life is hard for every single person on this earth. Everyone’s experience is his or her own. Please do not continue to discredit them. Try uplifiting them and checking on them.