2am battles. Late night early mornings…

3:15am

Flaring at 2 am or any other random time isn’t new to me. Tonight though… it’s different. I feel different. I feel weaker than normal, my pain is migrating, my pain has a pulse. Yes, I said it has a pulse. Weird right? No pain medication no matter how strong can send me back to sleep. Just imagine when women are in school dealing with things such as this. Being woken up in the middle of decent sleep feeling like you are being stabbed by 1,000 knives and being kicked at the same time.

Maybe this is why people used to say I was mugging in high school or that I look mean. You now see why. I was up bent over in agony the night before. Am I just supposed to deal with it and shake it off right? No that’s not me anymore. Doing that has gotten me here. Here to a place where I can’t take a simple pain pill anymore and go back to sleep. Here where I feel alone and hopeless. Here having to contemplate disturbing someone else’s sleep with my problems.

This life needs to be read about. This life needs to be talked about. This life needs to be taught so that others won’t be like the me I used to be and suffering in silence. 1 in 10 women are dealing with the exact same thing. Guess what though… some don’t even know it. That’s why I speak up. For those who haven’t found their voice.